When Admissions Don’t Go Your Way (And Other Things that Feel Like the End of the World)

By Audrey and Abigail

8th graders are nothing if not dramatic. Therefore, it’s no surprise that when your teenager opens their admissions decision and it’s not what they hoped for, time may briefly stop. There may be silence. There may be tears. There may even be some declaration of “my life is over.” Similarly, if your child was accepted to multiple schools and now is faced with the prospect of making a decision, they might be overwhelmed and temporarily paralyzed by the big choice in front of them. 

Acknowledge the disappointment without minimizing it, and normalize rejection and resilience:

For many kids, this is their first real experience of rejection and it lands right on their identity. To help them cope, your first step is to repeat to yourself that their life is NOT actually over. Before you spiral directly into “what does this mean for college and their future” take a deep breath. Your teen is watching you and they need the message that this is disappointing and that we’re okay. 

Shift to what’s next:

Often landing at a school that isn’t a first, second, or even third choice can provide opportunities you might not have even imagined. There might be a future best friend waiting in their first period class, an afterschool club that unlocks a passion, and an opportunity to connect with a strong educator who might turn out to be a mentor. Reframing a lower choice school with possibility and hope can help your 8th grader see this in a new light, no matter how much they roll their eyes at your optimism. Remind them you’re proud of them and that this decision doesn’t determine their self-worth.  

For your teen who was accepted to multiple schools and needs to make a decision but is overwhelmed and torn in different directions, remind them that this is a huge opportunity and that choice is a good thing. There is no “wrong” decision. High school is not a lifelong contract, even if it feels that way right now. It’s a four year chapter of their story. Help them focus on what school is the most exciting for them.  

No matter what news you receive this week, we can help sort through the noise with a calm, strategic voice and empower you to feel good about the next four years. 

What You Should Be Focusing on in 7th Grade to Help Prepare you for High School

As the high school process starts to get in full swing, it’s tempting to focus on grades, test scores, and future applications. But 7th grade is also about building the skills students need so high school doesn’t feel like a shock to the system. 

1. Building friendships is seriously important to seventh graders. Kids are figuring out how to navigate changing social dynamics, occasional (or not so occasional) drama, and what it means to be a good friend. These sometimes messy lessons are setting them up for high school, where social bumps in the road happen, but kids can hopefully bounce back quicker.  
   
   

2. Executive functioning - our favorite two words! These skills become even more important in high school as homework piles up, long term assignments become more common, and discovering a project the day before it’s due becomes a big problem. Seventh grade is a great time to practice organization and time management before the stakes get higher. 
   
   

3. Experimenting with interests should be encouraged! Not every 12 year old has a passion for something. Try new activities, clubs, books, subjects. This helps kids figure out what they actually enjoy instead of what their friends or enjoy, or what they think will look good on paper. 
   
   

4. Fostering Independence this is the quiet goal behind everything else. Kids should start taking more responsibility for the schedules, schoolwork, and communication. It’s a great time to make sure your kid is emailing their teacher instead of you! Confidence grows when kids realize they can handle hard things. 

Good luck

By Joyce Szuflita
According to the DoE high school placements will be coming out through MY SCHOOLS on Thursday March 9. If your child took the SHSAT, the results of the test, and LaGuardia auditions as well as your main application results will be listed there. You will receive an email when your results are available. They often stagger the results because MY SCHOOLS would crash if everyone went on at the same time.

Here is the thing. Life is uncertain. You can prepare and calculate and hope. It is hard not to fall in love with one place or another, but you can’t engineer your placement. Your mission is to prepare your child (and yourself, cause you have worked hard for this!) There is no doubt that you will be disappointed for any number of reasons, possibly just because there has been so much effort and angst.

This is what I hope students will consider when they get their placement:

This school is all potential.
It will be what I make of it.
I don’t know those kids, but my new best friend for life is somewhere in that crowd.
My first love is probably in there too.
There will be a teacher that I will never forget in that building.
There will be some uncontrollable laughter.
There will be something that seemed nearly impossible that I will conquer.
I will likely be sorry to leave at the end of it all.

You can focus on what you desire, but you don’t always get it, and you might even be sorry if you did, because you would have missed the wonderful thing that appeared when you least expected it. Go out and find it.

ch-ch-ch-changes for public high school admissions

By Joyce Szuflita
The one big thing that is changing in the HS admissions procedure for the fall 2014 admissions season is that 2%ers (students who score in the top 2% state wide on the 7th grade ELA test) will no longer be given a guaranteed entry to an Ed Opt program. In the past if you were a 2%er and you listed an Ed Opt program as your number one choice, it was a GUARANTEED entry. Sorry, no longer.

Now there are NO guarantees of any placement in the entire Doe admissions process from prek to high school. Oh well, that's life in the big city.