good behavior online and college placement

Devorah Heitner.png

I LOVE Devorah Heitner! Here is an email that I got from her:

I've witnessed this far too many times: parents and educators trying to keep kids in line with threats about college admissions. This is totally misguided. 
Here are a few good reasons not to do this:
1) It isn't true: 99% percent of the dumb things kids do wouldn't rise to the attention of admissions officers: silly selfies, bad words in group texts, being annoying, inappropriate, or over-disclosing. We may wish for our kids to eschew these behaviors, but we are lying if we say they will keep them out of college.
2) It isn't so important: Getting into a highly selective college is no guarantee of a great life/career. Attending a less selective college, trade school or community college could be part of a path to a great life/career.
3) It is not the point: We should teach our kids not cheat in school, not to be unkind on social media, and not to make cruel jokes--because we want them to be an ethical person, a trustworthy friend etc.
It's Not Just About College Admissions is in Washington Post's On Parenting section today.